Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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