It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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