trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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