SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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