I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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