So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
