i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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