it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
