Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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