No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
