dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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