Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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