haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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