i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
