So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
