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I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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