I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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