i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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