I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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