Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there's paper in my vomit.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
