just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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