yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
