We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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