remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
