Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
