Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize