He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
