What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
