Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
