i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
