The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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