I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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