just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
