Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize