it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
pray to the hookup gods
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
