She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
