i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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