..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
