How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
ttyl tear gas
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
