I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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