I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
