Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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