Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
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I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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