Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
