"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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