also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
