my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
