yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
