do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
