sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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