Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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