I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I touched a dick in church today
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
