well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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