Got a toothbrush?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
