biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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