I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize