I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Someone shit on the floor
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
