Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
