Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
