And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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