I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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