Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
