Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We're too hungover to prance.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
