he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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